Role Models

Some of the most well known positive male role models get paid millions of dollars a year. Their work requires them to play games that they have been playing since they were children. I get paid to play games I played when I was a child, except a pre-school teacher like myself doesn’t get paid the enormous salary that a professional sports athlete gets paid. Bummer. I’ll live with it because, I know that being a positive male influence for so many children now and having been one over the years makes what I do working in early education very important (even when it isn’t driving me totally crazy.)

                At my interview for the teacher’s assistant position that would get my foot in the door of early ed. one of the interviewers mentioned that the classroom for which I was being considered for had more than one child who was in desperate need of a strong positive male influence in their life.  Since then I have heard that phrase said many more times for other children that I would work with. I’ve helped children who never met their fathers, children whose fathers were in jail, children whose fathers were abusers and or drug users. Each unique situation where male role models (fathers or other males in children’s lives) are either absent or at the best are negative develops a unique way that a child need someone to be a positive male influence in their life.

                When children have no strong or positive male influence in their lives it leaves them to piece together the concept of a male identity on their own from what society projects. Unfortunately, many of these male stereotypes that are presented by various media outlets continue to re-enforce that mucho macho male image where males have to be powerful. It took me awhile to figure out that the best “male” role model I could be for the children was to just be a good person and not concern myself with projecting those stereotypes that are associated with being a male. 

The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love...

The toughest job you’ll ever love. That’s the phrase that comes to mind when I think about working in Head Start. For those of you who might not know Head Start is a program of the United States Department of Health and Human services that provides comprehensive education, health, nutrition, and parent involvement services to low-income children and their families. The same initiative that created it, also created the children’s television show Sesame Street. I got my start in the field of early education working at a Head Start school. I was still finishing my non-related college degree, with no experience with children. I started as a teacher’s assistant and within a year worked my way up to being a teacher. That was quite a first year for various reasons.

I found out that Head Start is important. It’s important for children, it’s important for their families. The government had a good vision when they created this service for the people. Too bad the vision has not been shared by enough latter day politicians to keep it adequately funded. I don’t mean to sound preachy, but in my opinion one of the greatest challenges facing Head Start is that there is not enough money available to pay experienced teachers to stay working for Head Start. Head Start has a great system for training and promoting teachers from within. Unfortunately most of the good teachers end up getting lured away once their resumes are good enough to get a better paying teaching position somewhere else.  

Good thing money is not the only reward for working with children. Early childhood is a magical time of life filled with wonder and excitement. Watching young children grow and helping them learn about the world can be a privilege if properly appreciated. I enjoy observing their intellects slowly become more formed towards the future individuals that they will become.

Yes, it also at times can be very difficult. The majority of children who qualify for Head Start services come from low-income families. This fact creates the reality that a far higher percentage of the children in Head Start classrooms have more behavioral, cognitive, and developmental issues than the percentage of children in private “pay” preschools. Having so many children with a spectrum of special needs can create difficult classrooms situations for Head Start educators. What makes it difficult is also what makes it so important. When I left Head Start to work at a Reggio Emilia inspired private pre-school, I definitely felt that my impact on the children’s lives was less than it had been when I was working with the children in Head Start. And everyone there

Before I left Head Start at a training for teaching children non-violent conflict resolution techniques, the instructor asked us to think of a song we liked that reminded us of our experience working with children. Then we were asked to say the title of the song and say the lyrics that made us think about our work. When it was my turn, I said, “The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run.” Everyone in the room laughed, and everyone knew what I meant.

A child called me "Grandma"

Without fail in every pre-k class I have ever worked in at some point one or more of the children have called me Dad. Years back when this happened for the first time it made me feel very good, especially considering that the child who said it at the time did not have another person in their life who they were calling “Dad.” I felt that in whatever limited way I was fulfilling that role for them, and it made me feel pretty important.  It was something I really needed to hear, because I was struggling with working with young children. I was feeling rather uncomfortable being a male in the field. At that early point in my career I had already had one colleague and a few parents let me know that “Men should not work with children” and to be honest I wasn’t yet one hundred percent convinced that they were wrong.

The day I was first called “Mom” by a child in my class I was honestly a bit flabbergasted. Hmmmm… “Mom.” I did not quite know how to interpret that. It was different for me to hear a child call me “Mom” than it was “Dad.”  Was this child letting me know in a “kids-say-the-craziest-thing” way that they thought I was effeminate? I knew the child lived with their mother, so it was not like I was a fulfilling a need to have a mother-like figure in their life. I don’t even think the child realized that they had called me Mom and I wasn’t ready to bring it to their attention to discuss the reasons why.  I just tried not thinking about it and my unenlightened male ego hoped that no one would make that mistake again.

A few months later, I was working with a girl on a big puzzle. At one point I asked her to look for some particular pieces of the puzzle. After a few moments she exclaimed, “Look! Grandma I found one!” She stopped herself and looked up at me. From the look on her face I could tell she realized she called me “Grandma.” She blushed. I blushed. I tried to make light of the situation and stood up, put my hands on my hips, and jokingly said, “What part of me reminds you of your Grandma?” We both laughed and continued working on the puzzle with no further discussion.

That night after a long motorcycle ride, I was sitting listening to the baseball game on the radio while I was working on my motorcycle. Sitting there, I thought about the girl calling me “Grandma.” It hit me suddenly, she didn’t call me “Grandma” because I reminded her of her Grandmother. She called me that because she was feeling the way she felt when she was with her grandmother and that, from what I could tell, was a very safe and happy feeling. It made me think of the time I was called Mom. That child was feeling the way they felt when they were with her. This revelation made me feel validated. From then on whenever a child called me Dad, Mom, Grandma, Uncle, or whatever familiar title, I knew that child trusted me and felt safe. I knew I was doing a good job as my role as their teacher.

I child called me “Mom” yesterday. I felt happy.

Let's get the show going

I am a man working in the field of children’s early education.  As a male preschool teacher, it did not take long to realize that I was in the minority working in a field that for whatever reasons has been traditionally populated by women. It came as no surprise to me when I came across the statistic from 2005 that in the U.S.  2.3 percent of preschool and kindergarten teachers are males. After having thought about it for some time, I have decided to start a blog about my experience working in different preschool classrooms over the past ten years.  I intend that much of the focus of this blog will be related to the various issues about being a male in the field, but I also plan on addressing topics that are important to all preschool educators male or female.  I hope this Blog will be beneficial to anyone interested in getting into the field or for those who already work in early education.